Boundary Setting And Relapse: Dr. Brian Licuanan On Getting Loved Ones Sober

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One of the most powerless moments in our lives can be dealing with an addicted loved one, especially who keeps relapsing or doesn't want to pursue sobriety. So, today, I sit down with Dr. Brian, a licensed psychologist, addiction recovery expert, and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competitor.

Dr. Brian brings to us his brand-new book designed to guide families through the fog of addiction recovery — especially when their loved ones don't want help. We talk about how addiction hijacks not just the addict’s brain, but also the entire family dynamic. Dr. Brian shares how families can set clear and compassionate boundaries without falling into the trap of "tough love" that isolates rather than heals. We explore powerful metaphors like “emotional hostage” and “the terrorist in the home” to describe the manipulation and chaos addiction brings. Through both clinical insight and personal stories, he explains how every family member must take responsibility for their share of the recovery process, even if the addicted person refuses treatment.

We also talk about the parallels between military culture, addiction, and the world of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Dr. Brian discusses why Jiu-Jitsu offers a form of healing, camaraderie, and humility that many recovering addicts — and former service members — gravitate toward. We finish with a discussion about the difference between being “dry” and truly “sober,” the role of support groups like AA, and why even 20+ years into recovery, accountability is still everything. Whether you're personally struggling or love someone who is, this episode is packed with raw truth and real hope.

Dr. Brian's Book: https://a.co/d/f5c7xHf

Dr. Brian's Website: https://drbrianlicuanan.com/

Website: https://coupleonukes.com

Exodus, Honor Your Heart, & Thrive Alcohol Recovery: https://www.coupleonukes.com/affiliates/

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*Couple O' Nukes LLC and Mr. Whiskey are not licensed medical entities, nor do they take responsibility for any advice or information put forth by guests. Take all advice at your own risk.