Cycles

In Come Here To Me's first bonus episode, Figs and Teale break down what "a cycle" means in a relationship by exploring the emotional bonding needs every human is born with.

Timestamps: 

01:00 Small talk 

03:48 Introduction to topic, "The Cycle" 

05:46 "The problem is not the problem" 

09:33 Surfer bro interlude: Just keep swimming 

11:37 Couples fight because they love each other 

12:38 "The solution itself is not the answer," Do you both feel loved? 

14:48 Reptilian insults

16:07 "If you really love me" conversations

17:56 Attachment theory / emotional bonding

23:42 "This is the one that I hope my emotional love needs will be met by."

26:20 Honeymoon's end

26:59 Feeling unloved prompts a negative reaction

28:02 Reaction prompts negative response

28:57 What is a cycle?

33:09 ...Fiddling

33:43 Let it feel like a relief: you're fighting because you love each other so much!

38:47 The key isn't to avoid getting into a cycle, it's to get out of the cycle once it's started.

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