Confusing trust with power or control

Miriam Malik Cheung's question is:  As a leader, how do I know if my team trusts me, or if they're scared of the power I have.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/miriammalik/

Quick summary:

Not hearing what people think is not a sign that they agree …

What I do before during and after meetings to help make the power I have doesn't prevent people speaking up

• Try to give people more time to comment on stuff in their own time (use either use padlet or miro or silent meeting)
• Allow people time to formulate their response in advance. maybe even plant controversial views in the document or agenda
• Pay extra attention to who has not said anything
• State your assumptions rather than have an opinion
• If appropriate leave the room for a bit
• Try the hat or role method that encourages people to speak up. People can speak more boldly because of a hat they are wearing or role they playing - e.g. a devil's advocate.
• Encourage people to talk off-line in an informal setting where they feel more relaxed

How I present myself as a leader to let people know how to read me

• Work on your behaviours that enable transparent, open and honest way so that people feel safe and able to trust you
• Share a About me with everyone in the team and business. (share the good but also negative habits, behaviours and tendencies  and how to get the best out of you)
• Pay even more attention to the people in your team -especially the ones that don’t naturally open up - so you can gauge if something is off or if they are not their usual self. 
• Actively listen and try to see and feel what is not actually said. 

What else do I do when the above does not work?

• Involve a 3rd party  - someone that the team member actually trusts to 
• 1st. Get feedback through the 3rd person to potentially find out if there is anything you can do differently to help the other person to feel more relaxed.
• 2nd. Set up a meeting for the 3 of you to talk together - to allow the 3rd party to help overcome the situation.
• Get coaching on that particular situation to open up your thinking and find a way that helps you both feel comfortable to speak up honestly.