Why Is Searching for Available Singles So Difficult? (From a Christian Single’s Perspective)

Why is searching for available singles so difficult?  As a Christian single, let me tell you, the search for that special soulmate can feel like a scavenger hunt where the map is upside down, the compass points nowhere, and everyone else is sprinting ahead with a partner in hand. It’s funny how in a world teeming with people, finding the right person feels more complicated than solving a Rubik’s cube while blindfolded. Why does it seem so hard to find available singles, let alone those who share our faith and values? Let’s break it down with a mix of warmth, humor, and a touch of realism (because, you know, it’s a jungle out there!).

1. Everyone is “Taken” or “Not Ready”

There you are at a church event or a friendly gathering, and you spot someone who ticks off a few boxes from your mental list of “ideal qualities.” They love God, serve in ministry, have a great sense of humor, and oh, they seem single. But wait—cue the conversation where you find out they’re either just starting a new relationship or not looking for anything serious right now.

This, my friends, is the modern-day Christian dating saga: the almost-single-but-not-quite dilemma. It’s like shopping for the perfect pair of shoes only to realize that every pair in your size is either sold out or on hold for someone else. I’m convinced half of Christian singlehood is realizing your crush just got into a relationship…yesterday.

2. The Christian Fishbowl

Ah, the infamous Christian dating pool, where we all swim in circles but somehow miss each other. What’s amusing is that this “pool” can sometimes feel more like a fishbowl. If you’ve been part of the same church or small group for any length of time, you’ve likely encountered this: everyone already knows everyone. It feels like by the time you want to approach someone, you’ve either heard all their testimonies, their favorite Bible verses, or, unfortunately, about their last three relationships. (It’s like trying to date someone in your high school class of 20—except now, it’s your entire church.)

Let’s not forget that the Christian dating scene can be alarmingly small. It’s almost like being on a deserted island, where you keep running into the same people while secretly hoping that one of them hasn’t gotten engaged since last Sunday.

3. The Pressure to Be Perfect

As Christians, we all know that we’re called to live by a higher standard—pursuing holiness, integrity, and commitment in our relationships. But can we talk about how hard that makes the dating scene? We’re not just looking for someone to have fun with; we’re looking for a potential spouse. And sometimes, that expectation makes it feel like we’re standing in line for a job interview instead of trying to meet someone we connect with.

You’ve probably heard it before: “Pray for a Proverbs 31 woman” or “Wait for a man after God’s own heart.” While those are great qualities, the pressure to be spiritually perfect (or to find someone who is) can turn the whole process into an intense examination rather than an organic connection. No wonder searching for singles feels so hard! We’re all trying to be saints when, really, we’re just looking for someone to watch Netflix and pray with.

4. Online Dating: A Double-Edged Sword

You’d think with the rise of