Should I Date a Godly Person I’m Not Attracted To?

As a Christian singles blogger, I get this question a lot: Should I date a godly person I’m not attracted to? As a Christian single, navigating the world of dating can feel like a delicate balancing act. Faith, values, and attraction all play pivotal roles in the decision-making process. One challenging question that often arises is: Should I date a godly person I’m not attracted to? While this is a deeply personal decision, it’s worth exploring both the pros and cons to help you make a prayerful, informed choice.

The Pros of Dating a Godly Person Without Initial Attraction

1. A Foundation Built on Faith

One of the strongest arguments for dating a godly person is the shared spiritual foundation. Scripture emphasizes the importance of being “equally yoked” (2 Corinthians 6:14), ensuring your partner shares your faith and values. Even if initial attraction is lacking, a relationship rooted in Christ can thrive when both partners are committed to honoring God.

2. Character Over Chemistry

Physical attraction can fade over time, but character endures. Proverbs 31:30 reminds us, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” If your potential partner exhibits qualities like kindness, patience, and humility, these traits might outweigh the absence of physical chemistry.

3. The Potential for Growing Attraction

Attraction isn’t always immediate. Many couples find that emotional and spiritual intimacy can lead to physical attraction over time. As you spend more time together, appreciating their personality and shared values, you may discover a deeper connection that surpasses surface-level infatuation.

4. A Partner Who Prioritizes God

A godly person is likely to prioritize serving, loving, and supporting you as Christ calls them to. This commitment to sacrificial love and mutual respect can form a strong foundation for marriage, even if the initial spark isn’t there.

5. Avoiding Superficial Standards

Modern culture often places an outsized emphasis on physical beauty, but as Christians, we’re called to look beyond appearances. By dating someone based on their godly character rather than societal standards of attractiveness, you align your heart with God’s priorities.

The Cons of Dating a Godly Person Without Attraction

1. Lack of Romantic Connection

Romantic attraction plays a significant role in sustaining a relationship. While spiritual and emotional intimacy are crucial, a lack of physical attraction might create feelings of frustration or dissatisfaction in the long run.

2. Potential for Resentment

Entering a relationship solely based on spiritual compatibility can sometimes lead to resentment. If you feel pressured to stay with someone you’re not genuinely attracted to, it could strain the relationship and diminish your joy.

3. Unclear Boundaries

Without attraction, you might struggle to develop a healthy, balanced relationship. Romantic feelings help foster closeness and commitment, and without them, the relationship might feel more like a friendship or mentorship than a partnership.

4. Risk of Settling

There’s a fine line between valuing character over appearance and settling for someone you’re not genuinely excited to be with. It’s important to discern whether you’re compromising too much and ignoring your own emotional needs.

5. God’s Call to Love Completely

Marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love for the church (Ephesians 5:25). If you can’t see yourself fully loving and cherishing this person, it might not be fair to either of you to pursue a relationship.

Key Questions to Consider

Before making a decision, ask yourself these questions:



* Am I seeking God’s guidance in prayer? Spend time asking God to reveal His will. He may give you peace about the relationship—or gently...