Love vs. Lust from a Christian Singles Perspective

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Is this love, or am I just really, really into that person’s haircut?“—congratulations! You’ve entered the grand ring of Love vs. Lust, a battle fought by many, but understood by few. For Christian singles, the struggle to discern between love and lust can feel like trying to navigate through a fog with only a flashlight. But don’t worry! In this article, we’re going to clear up some of that fog and, hopefully, give you a good laugh along the way.

What’s Love Got to Do with It? (Hint: A Lot)

Let’s start with the good stuff—love. It’s patient, it’s kind, and it doesn’t boast or keep a record of wrongs. Sound familiar? You’ve probably heard this verse from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 read at every Christian wedding you’ve attended since birth. It’s beautiful, right? Love, according to the Bible, is this deep, unconditional commitment to another person’s wellbeing, happiness, and spiritual growth.

When you’re in love, you’re not just attracted to someone’s good looks or charming personality. You actually care about who they are—their character, their dreams, their relationship with God. And more importantly, you see yourself partnering with them for the long haul. You’re not just thinking about the next date; you’re thinking about a lifetime of shared ministry, struggles, and joy.

The Hallmarks of Love:



* Commitment: Love doesn’t fizzle out when things get tough. You’re not bailing after the first disagreement about whether pineapple belongs on pizza (which, by the way, it totally does). Love stays steady, even when the spark fades a little.

* Selflessness: When you love someone, you want what’s best for them, even when it’s inconvenient for you. You’d happily sit through their three-hour explanation of the fine points of fishing techniques, even though your idea of “outdoors” is reading a book on the patio.

* Growth: True love pushes both people closer to God. It challenges you to be a better version of yourself, to forgive, to serve, and to honor God in your relationship.



But let’s not sugarcoat it—love takes work. It’s not always butterflies and heart-eyes emojis. Sometimes love looks like listening when you don’t feel like it, or praying for your partner when you’re frustrated. But here’s the thing: when it’s real love, even the tough moments are worth it.

Enter Lust: The Fast and Furious Impostor

Now, let’s talk about lust. Lust is like that extra-large, extra-sugary frappuccino you know you shouldn’t have. It’s sweet, it’s exciting, and it feels like it’s exactly what you need in the moment. But just like that frappuccino, it leaves you with a sugar crash.

Lust is all about physical attraction and immediate gratification. It thrives on that initial, spark-filled chemistry, and it doesn’t care too much about what happens after. Lust is laser-focused on how someone makes you feel right now, without a lot of thought about who they really are or where this relationship is going.

And sure, lust can be exhilarating. The problem? It’s all surface-level. It doesn’t push you to grow. It doesn’t make you want to become a better person. It’s temporary, and it leaves you spiritually empty. Plus, it can lead you into situations that aren’t aligned with God’s plan for purity and holiness.

The Hallmarks of Lust:



* Physical Obsession: Lust tends to center around someone’s looks or the way they make you feel physically. It’s not necessarily bad to be physically attracted to someone (God made us that way!), but if that’s the only thing keeping you interested, you might be dealing with lust.