How Long Should Christian Couples Date Before Getting Engaged?

The question of “how long should Christian couples date before getting engaged?” is one that sparks plenty of debate. Some might say, “As long as it takes to learn their favorite pizza topping,” while others might suggest a timeline that feels more like the gestation period of an elephant. Here’s the truth: there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Every relationship is unique, but there are some principles, milestones, and, yes, laughable moments to consider.

Let’s dive into this topic with warmth, wisdom, and a sprinkle of humor as we explore the milestones to look for and how to navigate this important season of life.

1. First Things First: There’s No Magic Number

Let’s get this out of the way: There’s no “holy number” of months or years that guarantees a perfect marriage. Whether you’ve been dating for six months or six years, the key is spiritual maturity, emotional readiness, and God’s leading in your relationship.

For some, the relationship journey feels like cruising on a highway; for others, it’s more of a scenic backroad with plenty of stops. The important thing is to tune out the opinions of bystanders and listen to the One who designed love in the first place—God.

2. The “Big Three” Milestones to Reach Before Engagement

Regardless of how long you date, certain milestones are critical to ensuring you’re on solid ground before popping the question or saying “yes.”

Spiritual Alignment



* Are you both growing in your walk with Christ?

* Do you pray together, worship together, and encourage one another spiritually?

A marriage that thrives is built on a foundation of faith. As Amos 3:3 says, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” If your spiritual goals align, you’re off to a great start.



Conflict Resolution



* Have you faced and resolved at least one major disagreement?

* Can you argue without turning into contestants on a reality TV show?

If the toughest thing you’ve debated is what Netflix show to binge next, you may need more time to see how you navigate tougher waters. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that “iron sharpens iron,” so learning how to resolve conflicts is essential.



Shared Vision for the Future



* Do you agree on the big stuff—like where to live, whether to have kids, and how to manage finances?

* Have you discussed your calling as a couple and how God wants to use your marriage for His glory?

If you’re still stuck on, “Do we get a dog or a cat?” it might be time to dig deeper into these conversations.



3. Timing Tips: How Long Is “Too Long” or “Too Short”?

While there’s no universal rule, here are some general guidelines:

Short Dating Period (Under a Year)

Pros:



* If you both know what you want and feel God’s confirmation, why wait?

* Keeps the relationship moving forward with intentionality.



Cons:



* You may not have enough time to see how your partner handles life’s ups and downs.

* The “honeymoon phase” might still be in full swing, blinding you to potential red flags.



Best for: Couples who have a strong foundation of friendship, have had meaningful discussions, and are confident in their spiritual and emotional compatibility.

Long Dating Period (Over 2 Years)

Pros:



* Plenty of time to grow as a couple and navigate life’s seasons together.

* Helps ensure your decision isn’t rushed or emotionally charged.



Cons:



* May lead to frustration or a lack of clarity about the relationship’s future.

* Could become complacent, losing the sense of intentionality.



Best for: Younger couples, long-distance relationships, or those balancing school or career transitions.

4. The “Green Lights” to Watch For

While timing varies, here are some green lights that signal you might be ready to move for...