Abusive Relationships-Are You Dating an Abuser?

Are you a single Christian in an abusive dating relationship? In 2024, Christian abusive dating relationships are not uncommon among dating single Christians. Some singles have been in an abusive relationship, and know the pain that goes with it. Sadly, other single Christians reading this article right now are presently in an abusive relationship, but may not realize it or be in denial over it. While in the rest of this article, we will designate the victim as a “she”, over 10% of the relationships consist of women against men. Abusive relationships come in all sizes and shapes, which at times could make it difficult to realize you or one of your friends are actually in one. Would you know it if you were dating an abuser? Would you know if you were dating someone who was sexually abused?



As we delve into this sensitive topic, it is crucial to remember that abuse is never justified and goes against the core principles of Christianity, which emphasize love, compassion, and care for one another. In this article, we will explore the signs of an abusive Christian dating relationship, aiming to create awareness and foster healthier connections.

Abusive Dating Relationships Are About Power and Control

 

The victim may suffer one or more of the following forms of abuse:

Abusive Relationships and Isolation

The abuser is obsessively possessive and jealous. He has tight reigns on what the victim does, where she goes, or who she talks to on the cell phone

Abusive Relationships and Financial Control

In certain abusive Christian dating relationships, one partner may exert financial control, restricting the other person’s access to money or using finances to assert dominance. This manipulation can lead to dependency and make it challenging for the abused partner to leave the relationship.

Abusive Relationships and Emotional Attacks

The abusive dating partner, often a narcissist, will often make the other party feel inept, stupid, or crazy. He accomplishes this through manipulative words or actions. He may accomplish this through putdowns about her appearance or intelligence. He may also inexplicably withdraw affection, using it as a weapon. All of this wreaks havoc on the abused’s self esteem.

Abusive Relationships and Intimidation

In this scenario, there are often subtle forms of intimidation through the use of body language (facial expressions, gestures, etc). An escalation in this area would also include yelling, ranting, and smashing items precious to the victim. This a bad scene all around.

Abusive Relationships and Threats

If the perpetrator in an abusive relationship is not getting his way, he may resort to making threats of physical violence against the other person, their children, or even themselves: “If you leave me I will kill you and myself.”

Abusive Relationships and Physical Violence

In this most dangerous stage of abuse, physical violence could very well include beatings and/or sexual abuse. The abuser will often apologize afterward through tears and promises, and the victim will usually forgive them or be afraid to report the incidents, even to the local church leaders. At this point, you really need to end the abusive dating relationship.  The National Domestic Violence Hotline number is  737-225-3150 ...