EP186: Does Your Kid Struggle With Losing?

Over the years I would hear stories or see examples of children who really struggle with adversity, losing, or falling apart anytime things don't go there way. For the record, at times in my life, I was one of those kids!

When you witness these moments, it is tough. The kid is so wrought with emotion that it is hard to figure out what the next step should be as a parent, coach or teacher. Once cooler heads prevail, an intervention of some sort should occur. If we deem this behavior to be inappropriate then we must offer up a viable solution or alternative.

There are a few things we can do:

• The first is to redefine what success truly looks like. To me, it is things like showing up on time, working hard, giving great effort, having a good attitude, being a team player, and more. As you can see, none of these have to do with wins and losses.
• The second thing is to reinforce any positive behavior we witness that supports the behaviors mentioned above. Catch them in the act and let them know you saw what they did and reward it.
• Lastly, just as you want them to focus on the process rather than the outcome, be prepared for this to take time. Behavior change does not happen over night. Be prepared for ups and downs and to make some mistakes along the way. It is all about the journey and this is no exception!