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Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones - Podcast

Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones

Vampires dance with Goths around campfires far from the rainy Metroplex- as the Central Computer says in Cell U.R. "Most entertainment consists of beautiful people on sexy adventures without kids, because real life is the opposite." Imagine a near future, when nanotechnology allows doctors to install speakerphones on the inside of everyone's ears, a microphone in their throat, and scanners that record through the eyes. All citizens enjoy a permanent connection to the internet.
One human cellphone loves two women; the tattoo artist, belly-dancing Gypsy fortune teller Vampire Elvirus, and a SuperUser's abandoned, beautiful, Wiccan, earth-mother, equestrian daughter named Louise.
In this multi-media comedic satire of everything you love about B Movies and black-and-white thinking, Mark Plimsoll presents adult themes with elegance and style, buried in slang or scientific jargon, in a way almost suitable for all children of most ages, even those who can vote. Cell UR allows us to exercise our intelligence and imagination with a story "low on violence and saturated fact." Sometimes songs propel the plot; Borderline, Wiccan Moon, Imagine a Future, Santa's Lapp Dance, In Trouble, Meet Yer Expectations, Kiss and Tell Eternity, Whiplash, Onda Beach, Weird Beautiful, etc.
Will Gnathal receive his new Personal Customized Transporter in time to invite Vampire Elvirus to tattoo his backside on the beach as the sun sets, to realize four of his life goals, five if she's of another race? Will the Siliconoid Aliens catch the reality show Spaceship Rambler (before Andrea loses her virginity) and exact revenge on all DNA life forms? Will Maximilliano Duroc, Global President of Metroplex, declare war in language people understand? What evil lurks in the war-torn Devastate, besides genetically modified organisms and the everyday terrors of nature at night?
Cell-UR describes the near-future Twenty-first century's human conditions in humorous metaphor, through the eyes of a 'normal' industrialized, connected, urban "metrosexual" adolescent coming-of-age as part of something bigger than himself, to learn that true evil …

Science Travel Music Society & Culture Fiction Sex Comedy Arts Books Philosophy
Update frequency
every day
Average duration
25 minutes
Episodes
23
Years Active
2009
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Blood Cuddling

Blood Cuddling

In this Earth-shaking climax, Vampire Elvirus suggests Gnathal get an education with the song "Bong Hits for Jesus." He Who Never Forgets announces peace, while his haploid daughter Louise agrees to …
00:29:54  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Dis Funk Shun

Dis Funk Shun

The Dragoons attack, Gand nathal finds himself the central vortex of a sea of amulets in the night. The doctors aren't sure it's a baby. The Alien Spaceship enters Earth's Time-space, and Vampire Elv…
00:28:52  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Gangbang

Gangbang

Gnathal, along with Vampire Elvirus and her huge dog Wolfie, must try to rescue Louise from the gangbangers, the Imp Udents. Spaceship Rambler gives its final podcast to a planet that fails to respo…
00:19:48  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Lost In Foam and Uncoupled

Lost In Foam and Uncoupled

The Children of the Greatful Dead of Night flood the Metroplex with purple foam to hide the invasion of yellow school buses. A plague of Dragoons darkens the skies, and invading denizens of the DevaS…
00:23:56  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Consexual Scent

Consexual Scent

They torture Gnathal with the song "Whiplash" to psychologically prepare him for Confession to the Warden in his Last Words, just before he serves his life sentence of Civil Death. Rescued by the ove…
00:25:27  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
The Pleasure Coma

The Pleasure Coma

After the followers of Christopheles kill the imposter, Gnathal becomes Public Enemy Number One, and the gangbanger Impudents threaten to kidnap Louise. During the song "Metroplex Anthem," Gnathal ge…
00:26:48  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Christopheles Rex

Christopheles Rex

Dizzy in his transporter driving through a night rain, Gnathal ponders his future as either Christopheles Rex the Warlock Vampire, or married to the filthy rich, well-connected Louise as her doting h…
00:24:38  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
I, Pornstar

I, Pornstar

Gnathal recognizes himself in one of Vampire Elvirus's dark Gothic animalist minimalist videos. She regains his sympathy with the song "Santa's Lapp Dance" and begins to ready him for his Vampire Awa…
00:20:38  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Love Dolls in War

Love Dolls in War

Jilted Gnathal falls into despondence, indolence, and impotence which motivates him to join in the revelry in the Metroplex underbelly. He receives a gift of twinner Love Dolls and reconnects with Lo…
00:17:23  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
In Trouble

In Trouble

A wet dream of Vampire Elvirus in the coils of a serpent deep in a a cave in the Grand Tetons inspires Gnathal to return to Walloon Pond with beer and toilet paper to confront his inner self, and sel…
00:29:26  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Barebacking Vampires

Barebacking Vampires

Vampyric belly dances around the campfire- the adventures of a Goth foursome on a long-term camp-out in an agrarian organic commune. Song "Weird Beautiful."
00:24:07  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Wiccan Soulstice Orgy

Wiccan Soulstice Orgy

Chaperoned by gender-indistinct Hedonitus back to the Metroplex, Gnathal works monitoring workers in the seedy underbelly of the Metroplex and takes weekend bike trips into DevaState in preparation t…
00:33:29  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Fiancé's Seductive Mother

Fiancé's Seductive Mother

Louise takes Gnathal on horseback to her father, the Super-User, to restore his Transponder functionality. Poem: Cristopheles, Songs "Viennese Vamp," "Desert Ride," and " Wiccan Moon."
00:31:43  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Loosing Virginity

Loosing Virginity

A Dragoon chases Gnathal up the cliffs onto a high plateau of windswept grasses. He lives as a hermit in an encampment on the shores of an alligator infested lake until he meets the equestrian Louis…
00:29:46  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Muck People's Fertility Rites

Muck People's Fertility Rites

Sheik Cano's men kidnap Gnathal and take him deep into the DevaState to sell to the Muck People, who banish him to work the mushrooms in Growhouse tunnels. President Duroc announces his Political The…
00:25:11  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
DevaCop Occupation

DevaCop Occupation

In the drunk tank, Gnathal guards the lingerie-clad sleeping vampire all day. When Vampire Elvirus awakens a trifle before sunset, she uses the worst torture known to man to escape from jail. Later t…
00:32:53  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
The Wilding

The Wilding

Gnathal recieves his piece of pink electronic paper that details how he loses his job, fired, and laid off, and then immediately hears the Prezident's podcast to the world as a member of the Revoluti…
00:33:00  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
She Bytes

She Bytes

Gnathal wants to buy Vampire Elvirus to whine and dine, but on who? Their romantic evening of food, wine, and intellectual intercourse overshadows a bed of music and poetry that includes such classi…
00:26:11  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Carjacked

Carjacked

After Gnathal overloads on podcasts, he test-drives his new Personal Customizable Transporter and runs into Cyberspace call girl Vampire Elvirus. She hitches a ride and virtually propositions our vir…
00:29:10  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
Spaceship Rambler

Spaceship Rambler

As he works at his Wallscreen, Gnathal listens to podcasts such as President Maximilliano Duroc's thanks for his re-election to another four years, the Spaceship Rambler reality show's virgin crew bo…
00:15:52  |   Sun 05 Apr 2009
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