Episode 13: Grief and loss with Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor

Grief is a common emotion. It can be big or small. Big in the event of losing a loved one or experiencing a break up. And small in the everyday changes living through a pandemic has created. While it’s a common human experience, it’s often difficult to share it or understand how to work through it. 

Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor is a top researcher in the field of psychology and grief. In this episode we discuss what causes grief, how it manifests in our body and mind, and how to work through it. She shares how to find meaning and purpose in our life in the wake of loss. 

Key takeaways

• A little about the work she does
• What grief is
• Some causes of grief
• The impact of the pandemic on children
• Difference between grief and grieving
• What grief looks like physically and mentally
• Changes brought about by the pandemic
• The stages of grief
• What to do when feelings of grief comes up
• What happens when you don’t deal with your grief
• What to do when you can’t get past your grief
• What complicated grief means
• Difference between grieving for a loved one versus loss of a relationship
• How to stop ruminating over the loss of something
• Practical ways people can move through grief
• Resources that can help
• How to help children go through grief
• How to go about building resilience and finding meaning
• One of the hidden secrets of grieving

Links

• 5 Stages of Grief (Kubler-Ross Model) - https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.grief.html
• Dual Process of Coping with Bereavement by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10848151/
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) - https://www.cdc.gov
• National Institutes of Health (NIH) - https://www.nih.gov
• Fred Rogers - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Rogers

Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor Bio: 
Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor received her undergraduate degree from Northwestern University, and her graduate degree in clinical psychology from the University of Arizona in 2004. Following her post-doctoral fellowship at the Cousins Center for Psychoneuroimmunology at UCLA, she received a K award from the National Institute on Aging and was an Assistant Professor in Residence at the Department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Science at UCLA. In 2012, she was hired by the University of Arizona Psychology Department, where she is currently an Associate Professor and Director of Clinical Training, and directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab.

Dr. O’Connor’s scientific interest is in emotions, at the experiential and the physiological level. Her work has primarily focused on a bereaved population, because of the wide-ranging emotional responses to this universal and stressful event. Scientific contributions from her research demonstrate biomarkers of adaptation during grief, primarily in the autonomic and endocrine stress response systems, gene expression, and the immune system. Notably, her research integrates the relationship between both brain and peripheral physiology. Finally, her work in clinical psychology has helped to validate the diagnosis of Complicated Grief, and points to mechanisms that may maintain this disorder.

Dr. O’Connor is a leader in the area of grief research, with over 50 peer-reviewed publications, and received a 75th Anniversary Award from the American Psychosomatic Society.