The Orphan Deep Dive with Donna Kunde & Londina Cruz

S10 E30 The Orphan Deep Dive

“Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain” – Joseph Campbell

If we were not wounded, we would remain in innocence and never mature, grow or learn. At the highest level of Orphan, we learn to welcome all of our prodigal children home.

There are five levels of the Orphan:

1. Shadow - Cynicism, callousness, masochism or sadism; using the victim role to manipulate the environment.
2. Call - Abandonment, betrayal and self-betrayal, disillusionment, discrimination, victimization.
3. Spiral One - Learning to acknowledge the truth of one’s plight and feel pain, abandonment, victimization, powerlessness, and loss of faith in people and institutions of authority
4. Spiral Two - Accepting the need for help; being willing to be rescued and aided by others
5. Spiral Three - Replacing dependence on authorities with interdependence with others who help each other and band together against authority; developing realistic expectations

Sit in a quiet, comfortable spot where you will not be interrupted, and breathe deeply and slowly. Allow yourself to experience the desire to be cared for by others - a desire natural to the child in each of us. Let yourself know whom you wish would take care of you (eg, you might imagine a person, a type of person, God.) Then tell yourself that no one is going to care for or rescue you. You will have to act in your own behalf. Allow yourself to experience any feelings you have of sadness, disappointment, and cynicism, or the sense of your own powerlessness or ineptitude.

You may leave the daydream here or go on to imagine yourself joining a group of people who feel just the way you do - people who agree to support each other and share their feelings and knowledge with one another. Be aware of feelings that emerge as you imagine functioning in the context of such peer support.