#86 | Why High Achievers Struggle with Love (and How to Fix It) | Tzara Attwater

💡 Crushing it at work… but somethingfeels off in love? You’re not alone—and it’s not your fault.

In this heartfelt and practical episode of The 4 Habits Podcast, Dr. Andrea & Jon are joined by Tzara Attwater—speaker, coach, and creator of the FLY (First Love Yourself) framework. After walking away from a decade-long relationship and setting off solo across Australia, Tzara helps high-achievers transform their relationship patterns from anxious to secure.

We unpack how anxious attachment shows up in love, work, and leadership—and what it really takes to build emotionally safe and healthy connections. Whether you’re stuck in overthinking or tired of performing for love, this episode offers mindset shifts, tools, and hope for a better way.

⏱️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (Timestamps) 

00:00 Crushing it… but feeling alone?

02:45 Leaving a long-term relationship & hitting the road solo

06:30 What anxious attachment really looks like in adults

10:45 Why high-performers often feel insecure in love

15:10 The FLY Pathway: First Love Yourself

19:20 Nervous system triggers vs real chemistry

24:40 Secure love feels “boring”? Let’s debunk that

29:00 The ‘performance trap’ in modern relationships

33:00 Why real healing happens in relationship, not before

38:00 Insta-perfection vs. real love: a message for Gen Z

42:40 The best relationship advice Tzara ever got

44:30 Final encouragement: Be real so love has something to land on

🚀 Ready to Go Further? Here’s What to Do Next:

A) Make It Personal – Connect with Tzara Attwater:

– Visit their website: https://tzaraattwater.com

– Find them on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tzaraattwater

B) Stay Plugged In – Never Miss an Episode:

– Subscribe on YouTube & ring the bell to stay inspired:https://www.youtube.com/@The4Habits

– Catch every episode on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0fWvVbnNNhh9jodRYGG1O1

C) Continue Your Journey – Learn, Grow, Share:

– Take the FREE Relationship Skills Quiz: http://the4habitsquiz.scoreapp.com

– Deepen your skills with our Online Self-Paced Course: https://learn.the4habits.com/courses/rq-blueprint-for-healthy-relationships

– Get the book that’s helping people thrive at work and athome: https://the4habits.com/book

💬 Drop a comment, like what you loved, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it—because strongrelationships are built on purpose, not by accident.

#AnxiousAttachment #SelfWorth #EmotionalFreedom#LeadershipAndLove #HealthyRelationships #WorkLifeBalance #RelationshipAdvice #PersonalGrowth #The4HabitsPod