Standing up to abuse with confidence

Warning: This episode discusses domestic abuse.

My guest Julie Randall juggled a successful career in sales, finance & management as an employee and then a self-employed business owner alongside bringing up three children. But she also survived several toxic relationships, which were physically and mentally abusive during her 30-year career.

Julie gives us an insight into how a strong, capable and intelligent woman like herself couldn't even see that what she was living with was actually domestic abuse. The toxic relationships were disguised as loving and kind at first but then developed into what sounds like living an intense psychological thriller movie for years on end. She was left feeling confused, depressed, suicidal and unable to trust herself to make decisions but eventually gained the confidence to secretly question what she was being told by her perpetrator, break the pattern and ask the police for help.

Her experiences led to a change in her career and she now works as a female leadership & empowerment coach/mentor. Helping women to let go of toxic relationships, move on after domestic abuse, overcome uncertainty, gain confidence, set boundaries, take back control and move forward empowered to live life on their terms.

Discussed in this episode:

• How being in a toxic relationship isn't always something you can notice straight away (1:45)
• Red flags get mixed up with the nice gestures that also happen which left Julie confused and blaming herself (3:34)
• Julie's first experience of a toxic relationship started when she married at the age of nineteen after three years together (6:50)
• She describes the systematic and constant manipulation she endured for eight years with a partner she had a business with (8:23)
• How the information she shared was then used against her (10:45)
• Why women tend to justify bad and abusive behavior (11:55)
• Living in fear silently (13:00)
• Noticing a pattern in the abuse was the first step towards Julie questioning it (17:35)
• The danger of teaching little girls to always be nice and people please (21:45)
• She didn't take instant action but started to plot her escape (24:00)
• The turning point was when Julie's perpetrator threatened her friend (26:35)
• Moving on without all the answers is possible. How Julie broke free in stages (27:00)
• Finding out who she was again and deciding to help other women (30:00)
• Julie's recent experience being called to jury service on a domestic abuse case (33:20)

Connect with Julie :

https://www.enlivened.co.uk

https://www.linkedin.com/in/julieprandall/?originalSubdomain=uk

https://www.facebook.com/EnlivenedWomen

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