One Shift to Achieve the Goals that Matter | #PERSPECTIVES with Sharon Pearson

Key Topics and Time Stamps:

• 0.00 Why I don’t coach people on what they want first but secondary
  
  o Understanding that the goal we set and what we say we aspire to achieve isn’t our truth.
  
  o We set aspirational goals as a way to mask our current state.
  
  o We think we’re going to go for it consciously but unconsciously we have no intention of doing it. It’s a way of displacing our pain and shame of not living up to who we thought we’d be.


• 5.00 What I coach on now
  
  o I don’t coach on the goal someone wants to achieve; I coach on the truth of how they are hiding, who they’re not being, what they are missing about themselves.
  
  o I hope to recover who they’re meant to be and how they can grow and as they change their perception of themselves, they change their goal because their goal was a way of putting outside of ourselves if I get that then I’m okay.
  
  o What if we reverse it and coach people on how to be okay rather than how to achieve a goal to feel okay.


• 6.20 Reaching Goals isn’t about working harder it’s about changing your strategy
  
  o Start getting your mind working for you then ask yourself well now I know who I am and I love who I am what is it I’m really looking to create.


• 7.30 Ambition with meaning is misery
  
  o That’s why people keep pursuing the goal wondering if they’ll ever catch happiness and they never do because their strategy is wrong from the beginning.


• 7.58 Over Ambition and Under Ambition
  
  o Under Ambition is a sense of give-up-ness
  
  o When I coach someone and I see them flaking and being completely disconnected from even having a go, I’m seeing what I call give-up-ness
  
  o When I identify that I almost immediately know what happened in their past for them to have landed on that strategy


• 8.40 Example of Under Ambition
  
  o Someone in their 40’s who’s still under ambitious, easily lacks resilience, doesn’t push through, dresses poorly, doesn’t take care of themselves, has failed repeatedly to hold a job down, it’s always the bosses fault.
  
  o I know immediately that that’s a strategy they learned and perfected in childhood.
  
  o No one comes into life wanting to mess it all up. It’s painful to constantly have defeat and setbacks and never ever have a reason to feel different and freaky, that’s a painful way to live.
  
  o So I know at some point in childhood there was a trigger. From adults, caretaker, a ‘big person’ who has responsibility for caring for them did something, behaved a certain way, rewarded it, punished a certain behaviour. And that child has associated that reward and punishment to how they should behave. ‘Don't sine too much,’ ‘you’re a bit big for your boots there,’ ‘no one likes a smart girl’.
  
  o There is two ways to respond, over ambition or under ambition
  
  o You can’t keep coaching on goals and ignoring their under ambition as they will always default back to their under ambition never achieving those goals


• 12.45 I-Amness Traits
  
  o Traits we are often born with that we often grow out of by the time we reach adulthood. These include
  
   Creativity
  
   Resilience
  
   Risk taking
  
   Playfulness
  
   Sense of humour
  
   Lovingness
  
   Intuition
  
   Curiosity
  
  o Ask yourself, when was the last time you experienced these qualities
  
  o Observe if and when these qualities arise.
  
  o 15.25 Example of an observable trait that we can use to understand why someone acts the way they do…
  
   What qualities and aspects have been denied and conditioned to cause them to act in a certain way.

Resources:

Ultimate You Book – Pre-Order Link (released on 17th Sept in US) - www.ultimateyouquest.com/book

-Ultimate You Quest Telecast - www.ultimateyouquest.com

-Upcoming Events at The Coaching Institute - www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au/trainings

-Sharon’s New Website - www.sharonpearson.com

-Phone The Coaching Institute - 1800 094 927

-The Coaching Institute Fan Page – https://www.facebook.com/BecomeALifeCoach

-Feedback/Reviews/Suggest a top to be discussed - [email protected]

-Perspectives Youtube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7zP_SmBHzsZG8lmlnQBgHQ/