When Mum Comes Back: Why Is My Stepson Changing Towards Me?

This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-hosts Cilla and Nathalie to tackle a dilemma that cuts to the heart of step-parenting. A listener writes in about her stepson, who she’s helped raise for almost a decade after his biological mum wasn’t around. For years, she’s been the one doing the school runs, bedtime routines, and being “mum” in every way that mattered.

But now his biological mum has reappeared and everything has shifted. Her stepson’s behaviour has changed, and suddenly the stepmum feels like she’s being pushed out of a role she’s built her life around.

The ladies explore the painful truth many stepparents face: the sense that, no matter how much love and care you give, you can still be sidelined when a biological parent decides to step back in. They discuss the emotions at play from a mum’s possible shame for not being there, to a child’s natural pull towards wanting that maternal bond, to the stepmum’s fear of being discarded after years of sacrifice.

Kate and Nathalie debate whether the stepmum should hold firm in her place as the one who’s raised him, or whether blended families sometimes have to weather these painful shifts. They also talk about how to stop resentment building, the importance of reassurance for both the child and the step-parent, and why blended families need to be ready for these moments of sudden change.

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