This episode shares the powerful story of Grace, whose journey through religious trauma and identity is deeply intertwined with her experience of asexuality. Raised in a strict Calvinistic Baptist church, Grace was taught doctrines like total depravity and original sin, which left her believing she was fundamentally broken. These messages shaped her early understanding of self-worth, shame, and sexuality.
Her story is a reminder of how difficult it can be to explore identity when your framework for understanding yourself is steeped in fear and control. Through it all, her connection to nature and a more agnostic spirituality has offered peace.
Who Is Grace?
Grace was born in England, moving to Aotearoa at age 13. She was homeschooled throughout her upbringing in a conservative Christian family, though she no longer identifies with the faith. These days, she resonates more with agnostic or atheist perspectives.
Grace is neurodivergent and lives with anxiety and depression, and she’s currently awaiting an ADHD diagnosis. She is a survivor of child sexual assault and purity culture, and speaks openly about the long-term impacts of both. Grace identifies as asexual and demisexual and is married to an incredible man. She’s aesthetically attracted to both men and women (though she’ll tell you women take the lead there).
She’s currently studying psychology and working toward a career that reflects her lived experience and deep empathy for others.
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