13: What is the Window of Tolerance? - With Ramneek Bhogal

Ever feel like your emotional reaction doesn’t match the situation you’re in either because you’re panicking and lashing out or because you’re numbing out and shutting down? Join Luke and his guest, Dr. Ramneek Bhogal, as they define what the window of tolerance is and how staying in this window can help you relate to others in the optimal state of emotional availability.

Listen to learn how to recognize the different states of emotional arousal and to discover strategies for expanding your window of tolerance, ultimately leading to better communication and intimacy in your relationships.

Referenced in this episode:

• To view the slides referenced in this episode, watch the YouTube video

  
  



• No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover

  
  



• Learn more about Dr. Ramneek Bhogal

  
  

Takeaways

• The window of tolerance is where we can think clearly and feel emotions appropriately.

  
  



• Hyperarousal (fight/flight) and hypo-arousal (freeze/fawn) are states outside this window.

  
  



• Betrayal trauma can significantly narrow your window of tolerance.

  
  



• Learning how to increase your window of tolerance can help you connect more meaningfully with others.

  
  

Chapters

• 01:18 Introducing Guest Ramneek Bhogal

  
  



• 03:57 Concept of Window of Tolerance

  
  



• 04:49 Hyperarousal vs. Hypoarousal

  
  



• 05:34 Physiological Insights on Stress

  
  



• 12:31 Recognizing and Managing Emotional States

  
  



• 24:03 Tools to Stay in the Window of Tolerance

  
  

Don’t Miss Out!

• In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Sept 18th-20th, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.
  

  
  



• Revive and Thrive: Betrayal Trauma Intensive for Women - This four-day retreat offers a sanctuary for those healing from betrayal trauma, combining expert-led classes, somatic practices, and supportive community connections. Learn to reconnect with your body, process your trauma, and build resilience. Join us August 21-24, 2024 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Register HERE.

  
  

Connect With Us:

• Learn more about Luke here. 

  
  



• Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

  
  



• Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

  
  

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

• Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.
  

  
  



• Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. 

  
  

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
  

  
  



• Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. 

  
  

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  
  

• Healing Hearts - Group for couples seeking healing after betrayal. We also have a NEW self-paced, 15-week course for individuals and couples to complete at their own pace. Find more info about the self-paced course here.

  
  

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!
  

  
  



• Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.
  

  
  



• Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.
  

  
  



• Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

  
  

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com