41 - Why “Have You Been Drinking?” Is the Wrong Question

Why “Have You Been Drinking?” Is the Wrong Question And what to say instead when your gut already knows.

It’s the question you’ve asked more times than you care to admit: “Have you been drinking?”

I've honestly asked it more times than I care to admit. And it always went the same way... Deny, lie, deflect, argue... and then the disconnection, more arguments about lying, broken trust, divorce, leaving, this having to be the last time...

In this episode, I unpack why this one question, while 100% understandable, can actually drive disconnection, erode trust, and make healing harder for everyone.

You’ll learn:

• Why asking for the truth might be pushing them to lie
• What’s actually going on when we seek “confirmation”
• How to rebuild trust without needing their honesty first
• What to ask instead, and how to protect your peace

Whether your loved one is struggling with addiction, or you’re navigating recovery alongside them, this is a conversation that changes things.

For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

Upcoming workshop:

Three Essential Steps to support your Loved one in addiction or recovery (Without losing yourself in the process)

Happening on June 19th and June 20th (depending on where you are in the world)

Register to get the replay in your inbox

👉 Register Here

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

Your peace matters. And you’re closer than you think.

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