19 - Debunking the myth of enabling in addiction

In this episode we have the necessary conversation debunking the myth that supporting someone struggling with addiction is enabling their behaviour.

The term 'enabling' perpetuates shame and stigma and paralyzes those trying to help. I talk about how we can reframe our behaviours in a way that actually helps.

It's hard to watch our loved ones struggle, and we just don't know what to do here - I know you are doing your best, and I did too. When we know better we can do better and we will keep tweaking. The key is to align actions with what's right for you and make decisions that feel right.

Families and spouses don’t need more shame here, from doing their best with the information and resources they have had up until this moment.

In most cases the fear of enabling does more harm than good.

The term enabling actually perpetuates the shame and stigma further. It says you’re not good enough, you’re not doing it right.

There is so much you can do here - for yourself and your loved one.

You can do it. It’s possible. And you can do it in a healthy way that’s right for you.

xx

Key Takeaways:

• Supporting someone struggling with addiction is not enabling their behaviour.
• The term 'enabling' perpetuates shame and stigma and paralyses those trying to help.
• Reframe - behaviours can be either healthy or unhealthy
• It is important to set boundaries and expectations to maintain connection and relationships.
• Align actions with what's right for you and make decisions that feel right.
• Seek support and drown out the noise of others when navigating the challenges of addiction.

Let's get into it!

🎧 If this resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear: You’re allowed to not be okay and still be amazing and capable.

✨ For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide

📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible

📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.

You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

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